22/08/2011 Session as narrated by Boomeron

Some doors were in the way of getting out of the trophy room. Gav decided to test the alien railgun on them. Due to my knowlege of physics I correctly spotted that some amount of flame and noise was likely. Not having the weight, or apparent weight of the projectile and the exact value for "hypersonic" more than that I could not say. Also, too much weird shit has happened and not enough shit has been shot. I encouraged his action. Some high level security nano awesome dragon-fly-with-teeth things menaced us with their proximity. Fortunately they were not awesome enough to be fire or bullet or shotgun proof, or in fact a bit of glue and a boot proof. We escaped on one that damm platform. I suspect there was a localised high gradient space fold in the vacinity, because the map and locations of roofs, floors and walls made about as much sence as miking up a dead whore. Chaz was rather up for going to the orgy room, and, you know, its hard to argue when a girl says that.
I thought while we were there, I would look for some high grade lube, as it could come in handy, for traps or something.
Found a nice big dispenser of it, and tried to apprise the quality by rubbing it between my fingers. Turns out its a bit more than lube, its, erm, motivational. Found a lovely auto-glory-hole, which I quite styleishly filled. Repeatedly. some of the group feined disgust, but I could tell they were actually in awe.
Chaz rather nicely fitted the front of my armour with a more mobile device. I thought better of trying to flick some of the (admittedly now more dilluted) lube on her. Didn't like the look of those hot strighteners much.
A bit of flapping with the platform by the legless wonder later and we aquired some anti gravity nano tech. Most people went for boots, I being more aware of center of mass, went for a more belt shaped contrapction.
So, here I am at the height of our culture with a thinly disguised honey pot taped to my cock and a very nice anti gravity tutu.
Sometimes I think the celestial is trying to tell me something...

15/08/2011 Session

Boomeron seemed to have returned pretty much to normal, so I untied him.  STD-01 wasn’t too keen on offering medical assistance after Boomeron’s dry-humping escapades until I offered to keep my scraper next to his head and twat him if he moved.  STD-01 tried to use one of the nanotech medkits we got from the medical AI to try and fix Boomeron’s fingers which kinda worked but didn’t seem to completely finish the job.  After some convincing, we also managed to get Skrood to return Boomeron’s assault rifle.

We decided we should check out the villa that wasn’t what everyone was scared of.  The platform flew over to it and extruded some stairs down into the central courtyard.  Boomeron was pretty scared so I tried to encourage him, saying “Look, it’s easy” and then falling off the side of the platform.  I hit the roof of the villa on the way down and tried to grab on, but only caught a piece of guttering that came off in my hand.  The last thing I remember is managing to push off the wall to avoid landing on some furniture and landing in a hedge instead.

I came to after a few minutes and the others were still struggling to climb down the stairs.  I couldn’t move for a while, but I just about saw STD-01 get Quold to lower his platform, but it disintegrated into foil as it lowered.  He hit the floor reasonably hard but didn’t seem to be very hurt.  Boomeron made it down slowly but surely, with no falling or cowering.  STD-01 came over to me brandishing a medkit and tried to open my HEV suit to give me first aid.  Unfortunately he didn’t know how to open it, despite me giving him detail instructions, so eventually I had to do it myself, which rather hurt, though I felt much better after the medkit!

After we all got ourselves together in the courtyard in the centre of the villa, a butler robot came out and offered us some peppermint tea.  I thought that seemed a bit odd so I decided to commune with my inner daemon, which suggested that the tea would be some kind of euphoria inducing tranquiliser.  I started to say that perhaps we shouldn’t drink it just as STD-01 downed the cup.  He said it was making him think about his childhood, which was odd as he doesn’t normally remember it, and he had a really stupid grin on his face.  Boomeron started going on about hippies, whatever they are, and said the best thing to sort you out if you turned into a space hippy you needed some Space Coke.  He gave some to STD-01 who took it and seemed a bit more alert, but then he started saying he had to go to the toilet.  I’d noticed a fountain in the middle of the courtyard so I stuck him in it, since his tracks with his waste disposal unit were outside.

After I’d retrieved STD-01 from the fountain, we had a look around the courtyard.  We found a load of children’s toys of varying sophistication.  We asked the butler where the children were, and it said they’d been there just a while ago enjoying a lovely party.  I asked it if it had been giving the same food and teas to the children and it said it had provided a variety of refreshments which they had enjoyed very much.  It seemed rather proud of this, so I gave it a pat on the shoulder.  We tried the doors leading out of the patio but they were all locked.  Quold tried asking the butler to open the doors, but it said that it didn’t have access to them.

STD-01 tried to open the first door we’d tried by picking the lock using the nano-tech lockpick and all the doors opened.  We had a look through the door STD-01 had been working at.  There were lots of screened off sections but it seemed to be some kind of personal museum of the captain’s history, though there were still a few children’s toys scattered about the place.  We decided to search the museum area in case there were any useful artifacts.  We didn’t find very much, though there was one room that seemed particularly significant.  There was a series of stone tablets in the middle of the room with a big space around them and some worn looking bits on the floor around them.

I just about noticed they were Sanctus Sanguine related.  Fortunately my inner daemon was strong enough to stop me getting infected so I decided to have a look.  They were really old and there was no way I’d have been able to understand them without my inner Daemon, probably from before our race ascended from the infinite plain into the Darkness.  The tablets seemed to be mounted in more modern stonework, probably from the era of our own civilization.  They were about the cult of the pure blood, which had been with us for ages, and were seized heretical artifacts from the conquered moon of the gas giant Nermageda in the Brigenissum system.  I shouted for the others to come along and then decided to read a bit more and just about managed to keep my inner daemon under control.  The tablets seemed to contain a more primitive but stronger version of the virus we’ve already encountered, but basically it said that a small part of the early empire regards itself as the rightful heirs to the empire, more a philosophical than genetic difference, and that one day they would rise up and take control.  The modern, digital version was a bastardised version of this old faith and I figured reading this would probably not make someone quite as crazy as the blood cultists we’d been encountered around the ship.  Boomeron turned up just as I figured out that being allowed to read these tablets would have been a great honour in the temple they were initially found in, but I couldn’t make much more of it than that.

I tried to explain what I’d read to the others, but they didn’t get it for ages.  After we’d been talking for an hour or so, they eventually understood.  STD-01 decided to try turning the scanner back on and see if there was some way he could copy the original virus to come up with an antidote for the new version.  When he scanned them he found that the original tablets were indeed as old as I’d thought, but the stone surrounds were only 100 years old and had been removed from wherever they’d been re-mounted within the last 20 years.  STD-01 said that this was apparently before the Captain joined this ship and had been putting down a rebellion on Nermageda’s moon.  STD-01 did some weird stuff with his computer tablet and came up with a chant to counter the blood writing mnemonic virus that would help us to resist it, as well as a program to help conceal uninfected AIs and cybernetic systems from infected ones.

We continued searching the Captain’s Museum.  Boomeron found a stash of the Captain’s drugs in an ornate chest.  STD-01 and me both found some weird looking alien artefacts.  We couldn’t decipher the descriptions, but STD-01 relayed the sensor data to Gav, who was guarding the platform in the courtyard, to managed to figure out what they were.  One was a projectile weapon that fired an active ammunition component at Hypersonic speed and the other was some kind of portent-based high-yield energy weapon.  We decided to use one of the nano-tech lockpick charges to steal the projectile weapon.  It took STD-01 quite a while to open the case, but he eventually did and got the weapon out without setting off any of the alarms.