A lot of weird shit has been happening lately. I barely remember some of it, and to be honest I'm not sure if I want to. I've had to do some things I never thought I'd have to do, and I'm no choirboy, believe me! It all started a few weeks ago.
I don't know exactly what happened but I was down at work in the sewer tunnels in Waste Sector 1 and there was a collision alarm. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I remembered from my waste technician training that you're supposed to find somewhere solid and hold on tight. It's never happened before so I hunkered down next to the nearest bulkhead, but something hit me in the head and I blacked out.
I came to later on, still in the tunnels, I don't know how much later. Must have been a while as the fluid levels weren't normal. I thought I'd better get back to town and see what was going on. Didn't take me very long 'cause I knew a back route through some service ducts. Comes in handy in my line of work if you know how to get about the place without being seen.
When I got back to town things were pretty messed up. I mean Waste Sector 1 is a dump in the first place, but this was like nothing I'd ever seen. Half the windows in town were smashed and there were bodies in the streets. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with corpses, you can't afford to when you do what I do to make ends meet. It's just not right in the middle of town.
So anyway, I go to check out some of the bodies, you know, see if they've got any cash or smokes. I recognised the guy. Used to work as a dispatcher down at Waste Sector 1's head office. Sent me on some real shitty jobs. The back of his head's mostly caved in, I guess from where he fell on the pavement when the collision alarm sounded, and there's a lot of blood. I'm pretty sure he's not going to need anything he's got on him anymore. So I reach into his pocket, where I know he always has at least 2 packs of smokes, when the fucker starts moving.
Now I'm no medic but I'm pretty sure nobody should be moving with a head wound like that so I told him to lie still, but the bastard started trying to bite me! Good thing I had my sewer suit on or he'd have got me good. Tried pushing him back and, but he was a persistent bugger. Ended up having to take his head off with my sewer scraper. I tried just knocking him down but the git just kept getting back up. Then I heard some people shouting over near the bar so I headed over there in case they knew what was going on. That dispatcher should have been dead.
Anyways, long story short, turns out the ship got hit by some kind of alien super-weapon. We don't know how it works, but it seems to infect the crew with the light of a different celestial. Now I know you're thinking celestials are supposed to be good right? Well that is the case if it's your own celestial you're talking about. The benevolent computer, running the ship and looking after everyone, nourishing us with its light and all that. Problem is, there are a bunch of them and they don't tend to like each other much. So whoever's celestial it was attacked the Marauder of Parth with something that infected our people with their celestial light. The results aren't pretty, kinda like those zombie things you see in old movies. They started off like the ones in the really old movies, all slow and mal-coordinated, but they’ve been getting faster and smarter ever since then.
Fortunately I'm not fighting them off all by myself. Shortly after the dispatcher tried to bite me I met up with some other survivors. Not exactly the types of people you'd really want around you in a situation like this, but better than being alone. The first guy I met was Skrood. He's a Sewer Technician 1st Class so he must be a smart guy. I tried taking the ST1C exam once, but they said I was too dangerous around the explosives and sent me back down to the protein vats. I like it down in the vats, it's quiet and nobody bothers me much.
After Skrood we met this guy called Boomeron Goregusher. He's some kind of documentary filmmaker, though I've not seen him do much documenting. He's a bit weird and things tend to get covered in blood when he's around. He tried to convince me some Spunky Backpack was salt one time. Not really trusted him since that, I really don't need to be tripping when I'm fighting off zombies!
We met a bunch of other people after that. My favourite was Chaz. She's pretty, but then she did work in the beauty parlour of the town whorehouse. She fixed me up good after some zombies got me so I'm gonna look out for her. Plus you never know, she might be grateful for me saving her. We'll see, but I hope so. We found this other really weird guy who's got no legs so he drives around on this weird cart thing. He was pretty beat up when we found him so Chaz fixed him up too. She's really nice. The weirdo said his name's WD40. At first I thought he was just a bit weird but there's definitely something wrong about him. Plus anyone who lets the computer change their name to STD01 just because they've got tracks instead of wheels now has some serious issues. Turdius isn't exactly the greatest name ever, but it's the name my mum and dad gave me, not some acronym made up by the computer that makes it sound like I've got nob rot. Not that I'd imagine STD01 has the right equipment to get himself nob rot, if you know what I mean.
We also met some security guards. This guy Gav seems to be in charge of the other two. One of them's called Bob, but I can't remember the other guy's name. It's a bit sad 'cause he died a while back. zombies got him. We managed to grab some weapons from the security office and hole up there for a while, but with all these zombies around we decided we should get moving.
We headed to Waste Sector 0 because most of us had always dreamed of going there. Things were fucked up there too, not quite as bad as in Waste Sector 1 but still pretty bad. We fought some zombies and then had a fight with some weird cultist types. They were covered in blood, tattoos and scarification, mostly in this weird language that made you feel ill. We had a lot of trouble with those jerks and Boomeron went a bit mental from the writing, but we managed to sort him out with some Snow and Spunky Backpack. I say sort him out but he did try and rape Skrood.
We collected some more survivors and eventually managed to find a computer node. The node was infected with the enemy celestial's energy, but we helped it fight it off and then it helped us heal good and stuff. Now we've taken over Brown Sector's engineering bay and fixed up the computer node. It's helping us to sort out the ship. It even managed to stop me turning into a zombie using some weird nanotech medicine we found. I was glad not to be a zombie, I think STD01 and Gav were talking about killing me before I turned though I'm not quite sure. I was pretty sick. Gonna keep an eye on those guys. So, now we have some hope of fixing things with a computer to tell us what to do. We encountered a lot of crazy shit on the way; the zombies and blood cultists (I think the computer called them Sanctus Sanguine once) of course, but also other kinds of zombies that howl, explode or emit some weird green radiation that fucks you up, security robots, automated defences, some weird cyborg super soldiers and the other week we saw some giant cyborg super soldier with rocket launchers for fingers!
Anyway, I figured I'd better start writing this shit down in case it turns out to be important one day. I guess it must have been if someone ended up reading it!
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